Lets start with the simplest influence, their parents. Think back long and hard about how your parents raised you. Did they make you do things, or was it an option..? Most parents, I feel, are pushing things upon their children at a younger age, which is transforming them into something they might not want to be.

Take the colour of their room for example. You have a son. Most people automatically want that room to be painted blue, to reflect him being a male. This also works with girls and the colour pink, of course. You are assuming that they want this, instead of letting them pick. I think that people should just paint their rooms white, let it be neutral, so the kids can decide once they have that sense of responsibility.

The next thing, is what hobbies they are enrolled into. Sure, influencing them to stay active by joining a sport is fine, or playing an instrument, but really, don't choose for them. Although I might be stereotyping a little, most people want their children to play football. However, not all children like it, and only choose that sport to fit in. I suggest leaving all the doors open at all times, to choose what they feel is right. So what if you son or daughter wants to dance, let them. Don't shut doors, or else that might be another career option closed for you son at a younger age.

Now, the main one I want to focus on is the toys they have. Think about how you have turned out. Most of you didn't have a 'ps2' or '360'. Some of you had a sega or another of those older systems, but except for that, there was no talking toys that make their own story. You were allowed to express yourself in any way possible, using your simple, 4-wheeled toy truck, and little work bench where you would make mud pie galore. The barbies with a home, and that was it. You were given choices on what to do, allowed to let your imagination run wild. Now, you have the barbies that talk, and tell you what to do, you have cars, that actually talk, so there is no need for this imagination.

Almost all of the toys that are being produced give you a very limited imagination space, because they have someone do it for you. I just don't see that it is right, limiting your children's imagination like that. So, go out with a very open mind, bring your child with you, and let him choose what looks fun, but make sure that it isn't going to restrict his/her limits.

Also, don't choose who you want your child to be. If he wants to play with barbies, so be it. If she wants to play with trucks, so be it. Let them choose what they want to play with, who they want to play with, what they want to play! I'm not sure, but maybe people will be a lot more accepting in the newest generation, if they are allowed to do what they want.

Finally, I'd also like to point out how violent kids are in the newest generation, the ones going into grade 1 now. I have a little friend who is in grade two, but he is very violent. He tries to beat me up, and always is angry. As are two little girls I know. One rips my hair while the other chokes me. Think of what is happening to our next generation. They are being influnced way to much with violence.

The WWE for example. Parents seem more and more lenient to them watching these kinds of things. My parents didn't even allow me to watch Power Rangers, because it was violent, and they don't want violence at a younger age. Also, the video games they play. My older brother, SilverDoor, works at an 'Electronic Boutique Games (EB Games)', and parents don't even care the littlest that they are buying their 7 year old a game where there is swearing, violence, guns, drugs. The key game is Grand theft auto, but there is so many out there, that keep influencing the way children act.

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Vote for Dreamweaver and Tavis'09-'10
www.sabrinabruno.com/toydrive
Language Course Support Group

And the power rangers, it was most likely because there was 3 of us, all guys, so we didn't want to be fighting eachother, imitating what they do.. I think.

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Vote for Dreamweaver and Tavis'09-'10
www.sabrinabruno.com/toydrive
Language Course Support Group

I hate to blame the media, but it does cause a lot of society's problems.

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"call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, I'll be your friend
so I'll curate some situations, make my job a big vacation
and I'll say fck Bush and fck this war"

Whereas in a household it might be completely different and a child is told "oh that's for girls/boys" and i feel that is unfair to the child as they should have the choice in what they want to play with.

About the room colour I'm on borderline her, maybe painting it a colour which isn't stereotypical might be best as to be honest white walls are boring, then when that child is able to make their own choices then they should be able to have the choice in the colour of their walls.

I get it's all about personal choice and about the video games parents will do anything really to keep their kids entertained so they will let them play the games, however sometimes this is wrong. However it's the parents own choice on how they want to bring up their child so who are we to say any different. We might not think it's right however their choice.

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Dreaming Of A Day Where Things Are Different!

The Love Group Is Back

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If I have an infant, how is said infant, regardless of gender, supposed to choose his or her own room color?

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Leave it white until teen years, and then let him or her choose. Neutrality until they are responsible to chose their own things.

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Vote for Dreamweaver and Tavis'09-'10
www.sabrinabruno.com/toydrive
Language Course Support Group

I'm a product of the 80s. I was allowed to watch R movies from the time I was 7. I played semi violent video games, although they didn't really interest me. We used our imaginations more but aside from that, I don't see a whole lot of generational distance between myself in the 80s/early 90s and my son in the 00's now.

I think there's something to be said for letting a child make small decision but I hardly think the answer is basically saying "Do what you want so long as you have piano practice." That actually tends to raise lazy children who do what they want -- sit and eat nothing but junk food, sleep 15 hours a day and play video games. Because most kids and teens will not eat properly or go to school or keep a healthy routine if left to themselves.

I think the larger problem with this generation is far more obvious. The lack of an accessible parent in the household. In my generation, I had many many friends who had at least one stay at home parent. This meant that they rarely had unsupervised time, they bonded better with their parent and always had someone around to ask questions and learn from. Nowadays the inflated cost of living has forced most families to have two working parents and even then, it's often tight with bills. This means that even young children, Grade 5 and up, are often "latch key" and left to supervise themselves from when school ends at 2 or 3 until their parent gets home at 6 or later. The parent is so tired after work, they basically come home, make dinner, bark a few orders about chores and then go to bed. There's little bonding, little being around. I think this is causing huge problems and a lot of positives would come from putting a parent back in the households.

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Holly.
Mama to Hunter Kai

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Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 11:13 pm on April 20, 2008

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If I have an infant, how is said infant, regardless of gender, supposed to choose his or her own room color?

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Leave it white until teen years, and then let him or her choose. Neutrality until they are responsible to chose their own things.

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How boring.

Sorry, but I think that while your idea has merit to an extent, you take it too far. I'm going to be painting my children's nursery walls (or, rather, my FMIL will be doing so, as she loves painting murals), and if you think they are brainwashed because I chose a soothing blue instead of a stark and blinding white, you're silly in the head.

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Let yourself be enchanted,
You just might break through
To ever ever after

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Quote: from Tavis at 5:56 pm on April 21, 2008

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Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 11:13 pm on April 20, 2008

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If I have an infant, how is said infant, regardless of gender, supposed to choose his or her own room color?

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 Leave it white until teen years, and then let him or her choose. Neutrality until they are responsible to chose their own things.

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How boring.  

Sorry, but I think that while your idea has merit to an extent, you take it too far. I'm going to be painting my children's nursery walls (or, rather, my FMIL will be doing so, as she loves painting murals), and if you think they are brainwashed because I chose a soothing blue instead of a stark and blinding white, you're silly in the head.

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No, I don't think it's a major difference, it was more of a metaphorical statement. Painting your walls blue can and does mean it literally, but can also mean the general tone towards your kids and what they do.

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Vote for Dreamweaver and Tavis'09-'10
www.sabrinabruno.com/toydrive
Language Course Support Group

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If you didn't mean painting walls literally, why did you use it as an example?

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It can be both literally and metaphorically.

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Vote for Dreamweaver and Tavis'09-'10
www.sabrinabruno.com/toydrive
Language Course Support Group

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I have thought about this long and hard, and even had a class of mine discuss this, and I have made a theory how children are raised, and what is to become of their lives, due to their influences.

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this should be interesting

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Lets start with the simplest influence, their parents. Think back long and hard about how your parents raised you. Did they make you do things, or was it an option..? Most parents, I feel, are pushing things upon their children at a younger age, which is transforming them into something they might not want to be.

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The funny thing is, is that one CANNOT think back long and hard to the times that they were a child, sure some fleeting memories are still there, but thoughts and desires from that time were not stored, they COULD not be at that stage in development. lets read further and see what else becomes of this.

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Take the colour of their room for example. You have a son. Most people automatically want that room to be painted blue, to reflect him being a male. This also works with girls and the colour pink, of course. You are assuming that they want this, instead of letting them pick. I think that people should just paint their rooms white, let it be neutral, so the kids can decide once they have that sense of responsibility.

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You want a 12 month old baby to decide the color of his or her room?
or do you intend to wait until said child is 2-4 when the first words start coming out and then paint it whatever comes out first:
"boat"  
"you see that honey, he said boat"
"yep, lets get some boat wall paper!"

thats just silly.

or do you want to wait until the child is 6 and can actually make decisions [albeit they are not informed, they are impuslive] and paint it the neon pink and black and red that the child wants?

children, during their developmental years need to be shaped [and are consequently shaped by EVERYTHING we do, so that our actions reflect who they become, even the smallest of habits]

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The next thing, is what hobbies they are enrolled into. Sure, influencing them to stay active by joining a sport is fine, or playing an instrument, but really, don't choose for them. Although I might be stereotyping a little, most people want their children to play football. However, not all children like it, and only choose that sport to fit in. I suggest leaving all the doors open at all times, to choose what they feel is right. So what if you son or daughter wants to dance, let them. Don't shut doors, or else that might be another career option closed for you son at a younger age.

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You are a moron.
5-6 year olds have no clue about the options available to them, and lecturing them as to the basis and how-to of every sport so that they can make a logical, educated decision is a silly notion.

parents enroll their kids in sports and hobbies that THEY liked as a kid in hopes that the kid will enjoy them too. It also serves as a way for kids to make new friends as well as learn sociability skills and physical fitness.  

what BETTER decision would the kid make, whose attention span is no longer than a minute?

Of course, if the kid doesn't like it, I don't think one should MAKE them continue, but the parent should enroll them in ANOTHER sport, let the kid try that out and see what happens.  

Are you under the impression that pre-teens are rational, logical beings? they are developing and have a limited grasp of the world, and need to be shaped. They are impulsive, and need to be pushed into things so that they can experience them for themselves and make opinions on said matters.

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Now, the main one I want to focus on is the toys they have. Think about how you have turned out. Most of you didn't have a 'ps2' or '360'. Some of you had a sega or another of those older systems, but except for that, there was no talking toys that make their own story. You were allowed to express yourself in any way possible, using your simple, 4-wheeled toy truck, and little work bench where you would make mud pie galore. The barbies with a home, and that was it. You were given choices on what to do, allowed to let your imagination run wild. Now, you have the barbies that talk, and tell you what to do, you have cars, that actually talk, so there is no need for this imagination.

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I do agree with this point, children should be pushed to use their imagination, and develop their own concept of the world around them, and the experiences people face in life. [even if that experience is that of an ambulance "whoosh"ing down the road.]

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Also, don't choose who you want your child to be. If he wants to play with barbies, so be it. If she wants to play with trucks, so be it. Let them choose what they want to play with, who they want to play with, what they want to play! I'm not sure, but maybe people will be a lot more accepting in the newest generation, if they are allowed to do what they want.

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I don't quite agree with this, Parents should raise their kids as they see fit. I do not see any harm in showing your son that trucks are more fun than barbies. I see where you are going: "if he's going to be gay he's going to be gay" but I don't think that there is a gay gene, I think that children are raised a certain way, and if their internal conception of normalcy and sexual tendency react a certain way with their nurture, then the result is a homosexual. I do not think that a 4 year old will play with barbies because he likes her shoes, or dress. Its imagination, thats all. So why not simply channel that imagination to something more along the lines of a childhood boy, if thats what the kid is.

[again, sure if the kid cries about it and wants the barbie back, give it to him, but if he is just as content with the trucks, or the gi joes, whats the harm?]

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Finally, I'd also like to point out how violent kids are in the newest generation, the ones going into grade 1 now. I have a little friend who is in grade two, but he is very violent. He tries to beat me up, and always is angry. As are two little girls I know. One rips my hair while the other chokes me. Think of what is happening to our next generation. They are being influnced way to much with violence.

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I don't know if this is the nature of television and games today that do this [which most kids usually grow out of when they learn the TRUE concepts of right and wrong], or if it something else entirely, but i DO know that what is the MAJOR cause is the lack of parental strictness.  

All of these liberal hippy parents think that children should be free to express themselves without being "judged". WRONG! kids need discipline so that they can react smoothly with social norms. kids do not know that flailing their arms wildly in public is wrong if you let them do it because "they are expressing themselves", so they wont see anything wrong with doing it in class, or hitting another kid [who the first kid probably doesn't even care about, since he is not aware that the other kid is like him and sees other people].

Kids are not aware of separate minds and individuals, there is themselves, and the other things around them that move. Mommy is the pretty one, daddy is the strong one, billy is the smelly one, mary is the funny one. But I am the only one really here, they are all just "things" to kids, who don't understand sentience of other beings until early pre-teen years.  

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The WWE for example. Parents seem more and more lenient to them watching these kinds of things. My parents didn't even allow me to watch Power Rangers, because it was violent, and they don't want violence at a younger age. Also, the video games they play. My older brother, SilverDoor, works at an 'Electronic Boutique Games (EB Games)', and parents don't even care the littlest that they are buying their 7 year old a game where there is swearing, violence, guns, drugs. The key game is Grand theft auto, but there is so many out there, that keep influencing the way children act.

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shouldn't you let your kids decide what they want to watch? you let them decide everything else...Or is it that they can make educated decisions about their sports and recreation, but not their leisure?  

though I do agree less video games and more out door encouragement.  

you have a misunderstanding as to how well kids understand the world, my friend...

edit:
also, white walls reflect light, even at night the room would be bright without the windows blacked out. babies tend to wake more often during the night in white rooms due to the excitability of the reflection.

darker colors are much better for babies sleep patterns [even yellows and pinks absorb light and allow the kids to sleep]
what the hell does it matter the color of the room anyway? are you under the impression that your room color made you who you are today? If so, then I maintain that you are a very dull person. If the kid wants to change it later on, sure let him/her change it, but don't leave the wall white because you don't want to infringe upon the 14 year decision making process of your child, come on now.

Post edited at 7:30 am on April 22, 2008 by norock

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            ...life is good...
...mai ho oni i ka wai lana malie...