My friends keep telling me that I'm actually a decent person I just need to chill out, but it makes me feel even more shit because I'm dragging them down with me.

I've talked with a couple friends about offing myself because no matter how hard I try, I can't think of one positive aspect I add to this world.

They say if I'm gone, they'll miss me..and I ask them why, and all they have to say is that I'm their friend.
Yeah, when did that count for anything. Just by thinking these things, I'm obviously not being a fair friend..

For the past few days I've just refused to talk with everybody because one, I feel like I can't fuck anything up if I don't say anything, and two, I want people to get used to the fact that I'm an asshole, and should avoid me.

How can I stop being so fucking greedy and self-serving..I know the answer is to just stop being so whiny and sensitive, but I literally run away from my problems, hide from people and lash out at those who try to help....