I feel productive today. I still feel like an idiot but a productive idiot. I try to remember that life is not about perfection but improvement.

Meditation in the mornings made makes me feel very happy. I hope to continue doing this.

I just invited a girl to come watch a movie at my house on Monday. This has been causing me problems, as I don't think im a very entertaining person and im afraid shes going to have a bad time. Im not basing this on very much, but this girl thinks im ghetto... probably because im a drug using lowlife kinda guy. The problem here is that I live in a fairly nice house and im afraid she'll think worse of me knowing that im a fuckup completely own my terms... not by any outside influence

If you know what I mean.

I feel kind of left out from kb I quit because I thought the lessons were over... then I passed by and found that they were still happening. Jeez. At this point though, I feel as if the lessons are too advanced for me and that I should enroll in another program.

I feel bad because i've led this girl to believe that im an insanely creative person from the way I've acted in the past. I can't do this anymore.... I dont know why... possibly because im not wasted on caffeine anymore.. I just dont feel like it

I feel selfish as Im not interested in other people for anything just myself. Nobody seems to be able to make me laugh. I get jealous of other people's good jokes.

I need to start studying for exams as well as finish my philosophy essay. I do not want to fuck up.

Rant aside, I feel okayish :) Thanks for listening. A bit tired, im definitely not performing at my max.

I hope my writing skills improve as I keep posting. It will be interesting to see if they do. I hope so.