My parents..

They think I have so much talent and that I'm the smartest of all my siblings. Even if I am, I'm not acting like it. I'm in CP classes and I'm getting B's. I can't stay on a sports team for shit. I've tried countless hobbies and instruments, all unsuccessfully.

They keep saying I have 'raw talent', I'm the most 'intellectual.' Really, when I'm getting shitty grades in shit classes, and my brother is working his ass off and is in Harvard Med School.

Do they expect me to do even better than that?
They give me so much shit for my mediocrity. Maybe I'm just not as smart or talented as my brother. But mooo, that would be too easy.

It's made me so depressed that I can't live up to any of their standards that I've become a perfectionist in every little thing I do, and nothing remotely satisfies me anymore.
I cry at every little mistake and I make others feel like shit when I'm on a team and I feel like our work isn't up to par.

god dammit.