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  LiveWire / College Forums / College Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

Got a Girlfriend
But she's still a little shy
Replies: 12Last Post Aug. 26 3:55pm by steven7
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( steven7 )


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Ok, I've been daing this girl for a year and a half and we new we were in love very quickly. We both know we are ment to be and have no secrets. Bottom line, it's a great relationship. Only one thing. We didn't have sex until about three months into the serious relationship and she was a virgin. Me, unfortuanately there was one before.   . But anyway. We got used to what we like and the sex is pretty damn good! But she is still a little shy about it. I want to make love to her almost everyday or even sometimes more and she just doesn't. For her it would be adequate to have sex maybe twice a week. I understand a comprimise in the middle would be fine but it goes deeper than that. She is self concious. She is a hot petite girl, and she thinks that she is short and flat with big hips. Granted she only has A's it's no big deal to me. So basically she feels unattractive and never wants to do it no matter how much I tell her otherwise. And because of this she never ever ever instigates things for fear of rejection. I always feel like I kind of have to coerce her into it.  But she doesn't want to give it up because she says she likes it and I get her "there" almost everytime, sometimes multiple times. Occasionaly she has talked about getting implants so she wouldn't look so "little" or like a 12 year old. I heard a statistic that women who got implants as a whole became much hornier because they felt more attractive to there partner. I was wondering if this may help the situation. I will support her in what ever she wants to do, I mean it would be fun to see er with a bigger rack, but like I said earlier I love her the way she is. Is there suggestions anyone has to help or anything. Not just regarding the whether to get implants. I just want her to get past this phobia.

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I wish I was cool! :-(

11:00 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 164 Days Active
Join to learn more about steven7 Alabama, United States | Straight Male | 949 Posts | 2738 Points
randomrocks


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some girls are just like that but she needs to open up more

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WaNtS tO gO bAcK tO bElIeViNg In EvErYtHiNg AnD kNoWiNg NoThInG aT aLl..
R.I.P Brandon Cole Turner

11:01 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2008 | 55 Days Active
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Natsy


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read twilight and try to act a bit like edward does around Bella later on in the book lol xx

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"Because I can."

11:04 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2007 | 280 Days Active
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lilakforte


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There's not much advice I can give myself. Maybe implants for her are an option if she's really that self conscious about it but A cups are nothing, I mean if she was a AA and over 15 I'd feel bad for her but I know people that are A cups and have armies of men after them so the breast size really shouldn't be an issue but since it is I more strongly recommend she becomes happier with her body, if she's happy with her body she will feel happier and more attractive and be less withdrawn about intercourse but mind this won't mean you will suddenly get it every day or multiple times daily as women generally have much less desire for sex than men.

So yeah basically it'd be better and cheaper for her to up her confidence, and upping her confidence maybe something you can't help with but support her once she decides to do that because to be perfectly honest she will never be happy with herself as a person until her self-esteem and self-confidence are up and she's no longer ashamed of her body.


11:06 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2007 | 46 Days Active
Join to learn more about lilakforte England, United Kingdom | Straight Female | 1383 Posts | 1820 Points
Just Waiting Here


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It's hard to say... building up self-esteem is hard, and sometimes you always have your fears, even though there's no need to.

In terms of the implants, I would tell her what you said.  "I will support her in what ever she wants to do, I mean it would be fun to see er with a bigger rack, but like I said earlier I love her the way she is"

Minus the part about the bigger rack, lol.  I would just say... "If you think that will make you feel more confident and happier with YOURSELF, then go ahead and do so.  But just so you know, I think you're perfect the way you are, and I don't see any reason that you should change that."  Or something like that, you get the idea.

Other than that, I would just give her time.  Compliment her on little things every now and then, even some of the things that she's a bit self-conscious about.

And while it may seem like a long time, these kinds of things don't just disappear.  Maybe as she gets older, she will come to accept herself and her body more.  Just let her know how you feel, and be honest about it.  And what she decides to do about it is up to her.

Even then, have you ever talked to her about this?  Or have you only speculated that this may be why she doesn't want to have sex?  Because personally, I don't like having sex very often, I don't have much of a drive for it.  So who knows, it may just be that as well.


11:07 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2007 | 288 Days Active
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Lulamae


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a) 3 months into the relationship? My boyfriend is still waiting after two years.

b) Ever considered that she's just a typical self-conscious girl? Make her feel beautiful. Most female libido is naturally lower than male at this age.


11:08 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined April 2008 | 155 Days Active
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( steven7 )


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Quote: from Natsy at 12:04 pm on Aug. 21, 2008

read twilight and try to act a bit like edward does around Bella later on in the book lol xx

Haha, she actually just finished it and is now on the second one. Maybe i'll ask her sneekily about it.

And i have tried to talk to her about it, and even suggested stopping and waiting a while  or even til we are married to make her possibly more comfortable and she said no she still likes it non the less.

And for everyone to know the age time frame, I'm a senior and she's a junior and we are both 21

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I wish I was cool! :-(


11:18 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 164 Days Active
Join to learn more about steven7 Alabama, United States | Straight Male | 949 Posts | 2738 Points
Natsy


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Quote: from steven7 at 7:18 pm on Aug. 21, 2008

Quote: from Natsy at 12:04 pm on Aug. 21, 2008

read twilight and try to act a bit like edward does around Bella later on in the book lol xx

Haha, she actually just finished it and is now on the second one. Maybe i'll ask her sneekily about it.  

And i have tried to talk to her about it, and even suggested stopping and waiting a while or even til we are married to make her possibly more comfortable and she said no she still likes it non the less.  

And for everyone to know the age time frame, I'm a senior and she's a junior and we are both 21


what? you got kept behind so late?  

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"Because I can."


11:35 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2007 | 280 Days Active
Join to learn more about Natsy England, United Kingdom | Asexual Female | 12179 Posts | 15842 Points
( steven7 )


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HUH?

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I wish I was cool! :-(

11:41 am on Aug. 21, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 164 Days Active
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mcodeath


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Quote: from Lulamae at 1:08 pm on Aug. 21, 2008

a) 3 months into the relationship? My boyfriend is still waiting after two years.

Thats an impressive feat.


I don't have much input into the Poster's situation, other than to say if your getting it twice a week, feel damn lucky  


3:21 am on Aug. 22, 2008 | Joined May 2008 | 109 Days Active
Join to learn more about mcodeath Wisconsin, United States | Straight Male | 1487 Posts | 4606 Points
Lulamae


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Quote: from mcodeath at 12:21 pm on Aug. 22, 2008

Quote: from Lulamae at 1:08 pm on Aug. 21, 2008

a) 3 months into the relationship? My boyfriend is still waiting after two years.

Thats an impressive feat.

 


Doesn't seem to bother him at all.


6:59 am on Aug. 22, 2008 | Joined April 2008 | 155 Days Active
Join to learn more about Lulamae Germany | Bi-curious Female | 3875 Posts | 5494 Points
lucky015


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She just sounds shy, Just keep telling her how good she looks and eventually she might figure it out, I feel a bit like that at times but my gf loves sex and wants it as much as possible, eventually i got past the fact that i look like crap by realizing that she doesnt seem to care what i look like as long as i keep her happy which i appear to be particularly good at. i cant emphasize enough how much girls like to be told how good they look even if they dont beleive u.

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8:42 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2008 | 65 Days Active
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( steven7 )


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Yeah, I'm just ready for her to get past this little hump and let that freak come out, cuz i know its there

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I wish I was cool! :-(

3:55 pm on Aug. 26, 2008 | Joined June 2003 | 164 Days Active
Join to learn more about steven7 Alabama, United States | Straight Male | 949 Posts | 2738 Points
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