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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Haterz! fuck them
Replies: 15Last Post July 7 10:30am by cherrys77
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( cherrys77 )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Since all of you are hatin on my poem here is one of my best. (in my opinion)

The way i feel
It is as if
You have ripped out
My Heart
Already sorrowful
Hollow
My heart
Threw it to the cold ground
And stomped upon
My heart
Trampled without mercy
Left your footprints on
Spit upon
My Heart
Left your mark
Of seething hatred
Burning what was
My Heart  
But then
I walked over to
My Heart
Gathered the scattered remains
Brushed the hate off
My Heart
Glued back together
Placed back in it's proper place
My heart
And forgave the person
Who thought they could kill love
With hate

-------
All general statements are untrue.


7:01 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 109 Days Active
Join to learn more about cherrys77 Illinois, United States | Straight Female | 3548 Posts | 5146 Points
Fenton

Novice

Patron
Reply
That was life changing.

-------
Dear World,
You need me.

7:02 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2008 | 78 Days Active
Join to learn more about Fenton Colorado, United States | Straight Male | 2239 Posts | -13779 Points
plumc0la


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
well done

-------
A Storybook Love wouldn't want Anybody Else But You

7:02 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 124 Days Active
Join to learn more about plumc0la Alberta, Canada | Label Free Female | 3836 Posts | 5675 Points
pujolsfan


Soothsayer

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
bravo!

-------
A billion Chinese can't be wrong: eat rice.

7:02 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined May 2008 | 138 Days Active
Join to learn more about pujolsfan Missouri, United States | Straight Male | 5772 Posts | 10491 Points
carracer


Soothsayer
Reply
please please please
separate the lines in complete clauses
thanks

-------
The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

7:02 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2007 | 190 Days Active
Join to learn more about carracer New York, United States | Straight Male | 8768 Posts | 11453 Points
hypnotiq desir3


nɯɯnʎ

Sustainer
Reply
Turrets syndrome, ftl.

-------
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot-- And whether pigs have wings."

7:02 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined July 2005 | 1016 Days Active
Join to learn more about hypnotiq desir3 California, United States | Asexual | 17341 Posts | 30925 Points
itbeme


Executive
Reply
much better, but i didnt hink the first was even that bad..
people didnt like whitman and look at him now. ha you never know.

7:02 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2007 | 161 Days Active
Join to learn more about itbeme California, United States | Straight Male | 1290 Posts | 3016 Points
( cherrys77 )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from Fenton at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

That was life changing.

Feeling slow tonight so uhh question is that sarcasm??
just confused
doesn't matter wether it is or not

-------
All general statements are untrue.

7:03 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 109 Days Active
Join to learn more about cherrys77 Illinois, United States | Straight Female | 3548 Posts | 5146 Points
( cherrys77 )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from carracer at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

please please please
separate the lines in complete clauses  
thanks

i shall seperate the lines as i please. sorry but i love them that way

-------
All general statements are untrue.


7:04 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 109 Days Active
Join to learn more about cherrys77 Illinois, United States | Straight Female | 3548 Posts | 5146 Points
Jadien


Connoisseur

Sustainer
Support Leader
Reply
Quote: from carracer at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

please please please
separate the lines in complete clauses  
thanks


agreed!!!!!

-------
Indescribable.


7:04 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 131 Days Active
Join to learn more about Jadien Michigan, United States | Label Free Female | 4396 Posts | 7286 Points
carracer


Soothsayer
Reply
Quote: from cherrys77 at 7:04 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from carracer at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

please please please  
 separate the lines in complete clauses
 thanks

i shall seperate the lines as i please. sorry but i love them that way


fine
but it
doesn'
t
ma
ke sen
se

-------
The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it


7:06 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2007 | 190 Days Active
Join to learn more about carracer New York, United States | Straight Male | 8768 Posts | 11453 Points
( cherrys77 )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from carracer at 7:06 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from cherrys77 at 7:04 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from carracer at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

please please please
  separate the lines in complete clauses    
  thanks

 

 i shall seperate the lines as i please. sorry but i love them that way


fine
but it
doesn'
t
ma
ke sen
se


Now darling that's an exageration. i never once seperated a line in that manner.

-------
All general statements are untrue.


7:07 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 109 Days Active
Join to learn more about cherrys77 Illinois, United States | Straight Female | 3548 Posts | 5146 Points
carracer


Soothsayer
Reply
Quote: from cherrys77 at 7:07 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from carracer at 7:06 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from cherrys77 at 7:04 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from carracer at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

please please please    
  separate the lines in complete clauses
  thanks

  i shall seperate the lines as i please. sorry but i love them that way


 

 fine  
 but it  
 doesn'  
 t  
 ma  
 ke sen  
 se


Now darling that's an exageration. i never once seperated a line in that manner.


"It is as if "
is this a clause

-------
The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it


7:10 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2007 | 190 Days Active
Join to learn more about carracer New York, United States | Straight Male | 8768 Posts | 11453 Points
( cherrys77 )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from carracer at 7:10 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from cherrys77 at 7:07 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from carracer at 7:06 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from cherrys77 at 7:04 pm on July 6, 2008

Quote: from carracer at 7:02 pm on July 6, 2008

please please please
   separate the lines in complete clauses      
   thanks

   

  i shall seperate the lines as i please. sorry but i love them that way


  fine
  but it
  doesn'
  t
  ma
  ke sen
  se


 

 Now darling that's an exageration. i never once seperated a line in that manner.


"It is as if "
is this a clause


Why does the way i space my poetry matter to any of you? i just do not understand that. All i ask is that you read it. i am not looking for critisism. i merely would like to share something i love.

-------
All general statements are untrue.


9:49 pm on July 6, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 109 Days Active
Join to learn more about cherrys77 Illinois, United States | Straight Female | 3548 Posts | 5146 Points
devilindisguize


Technician
Reply
everybody writes in different ways.
i like it.

-------
These secrets are walls that keep us alone

4:25 am on July 7, 2008 | Joined July 2008 | 14 Days Active
Join to learn more about devilindisguize Australia | Bisexual Female | 169 Posts | 315 Points
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