Being the oldest you always get the most responsibility put on your shoulders. You get treated bad sometimes and you usually tend to have a lower self esteem then younger siblings of yours. It's hard being the oldest child, I know this from experience. I didn't live with my mother my whole life, but, I did long enough to know I am glad I don't have to do it anymore. From the time I was 12 and moved in with her till the time I was 17 and left I had to take the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, taking care of my brother and sister, plus her. It wasn't fun. I hated it. But, it got really horrible when she would make stupid jokes about me or make me feel bad for being me. There's times I recall her saying I couldn't fight just because I chose not to. But then she'd turn around and rub it in my face that my younger brother was a fighter. The funny part was, was that she was giving him this big head and every time he got into a fight at school she'd ask him why he did it? I just wanted to be like, "why the hell do you think he did it?" It was much worse then this at some points. One day my dad left her finally so I got up and left a couple months later. I think I've improved since then. I lived with my grandma after that and she soon kicked me out so I was out on my own when I was 17 and had no where to go. I survived. I had to grow up real fast. I wasn't fair, but I'm still here and I'm stronger then ever.
As for the way you look you should just accept who you are. There's people that would call the prettiest girls in the world ugly. It's rude and it's cruel, but as long as you know the truth and you believe you're not ugly well then that's all that really should matter.
No you shouldn't care what people think. It makes you feel ten times worse then you normally do when you don't care what they think. It's hard to overcome what people think. I know how it feels. When my husband and I first got together back in high school people started rumors saying I was pregnant. I wasn't pregnant then and I wasn't exactly fat. They just liked the gossip. I had girls tell him I was ugly because they liked him. But, I'm the one who married the boy so what can I say?
When there's no one else there to hold you up, you just have to learn to hold yourself up. Good Luck.
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-*-Due August 22nd-*-