my sister noticed that I'd been crying after dinner. i really cant remember why I'd been crying, but my sister saw. i tried to lie and tell her that everything was okay, but clearly it wasn't. i was dating a guy who introduced me in to cutting. he and i were texting one night when he confessed that he'd cut about a quarter of an inch into his upper thigh. i couldn't believe that someone would do that. the idea to me was shocking! he told me that he'd been depressed for a while and that cutting was his escape from the outside world. well on the night of my 15th birthday, my boyfriend had failed to show up at my birthday party, and i was really sad about it. his excuse was that "something came up." i tried to forgive him, i really did. but he had promised me that he would be there, and then at the last second he cancelled. well we'd been fighting alot, and it was really getting me down. so i decided that i was going to try cutting... i mean if it worked for my effed up boyfriend, then surely it would work for me, right? so as i was bringing myself to cut deep in to my leg for the first time in my life, i began to cry. my whole body was shaking and i kept thinking that i didn't belong in this world anymore. so i cut. and i cut. and i cut. until it didn't hurt anymore. the pain slowly faded, and i cleaned up the cuts. I've cut every night since that day. and ive tried telling my parents, but they just put my in therapy... i stopped for a few months but as soon as things got stressful, i would cut again... i want to stop. its hurting me so effing much! i cant bring myself to tell anyone else but you, this blog thing. i don't even know if anyone's going to read this. but it feels really good to let things out by writing instead of cutting.

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Instead of cutting you could write all your thoughts on paper even if theyy're bad thoughts, and then burn the paper. Just let it all out and burn, forget about it.

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