Basically, to sum it up short, I wanna sleep with somebody else. How should i put it... I guess I'm tired of f*cking the same thing for 5 years, I wanna f*ck something else... that's the best way I can put it. I know it sounds wrong, but Its a fantasy that I can't help.

The reason why I wanna do this is NOT because there's something missing in the relationship or the relationship hasn't been well. We've been stronger than ever, but it's just a urge I've ALWAYS had, whether it be when I was single or in a relationship.

We've been able to tell each other ANYTHING literally, but I'm afraid this might be too much for her. I definitely will not cheat behind her back, but asking her might destroy her as well.

Should I ask her? How would you feel if your partner asked you to let them swing and sleep with other people?

And Of course I'll wear protection :)

Post edited at 1:38 am on Nov. 24, 2009 by Anonymous

Seriously how would you take it if she didn't want to root you and wanted to root someone else?

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Me break the rules? No,i test their elasticity.

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If a guy I'd been with for 5 years said that to me, I'd slap him the fuck down.

Seriously how would you take it if she didn't want to root you and wanted to root someone else?

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I've thought about that of course, putting myself in her situation. I'd be really hurt, but if It's something that she really wanted to do, I would go for it. Not fulfilling her desires could drive her even worse is what I figure.

As long as it's just a sexual fantasy, and there's no strings attached to that. To me, it would be just sex, no deep emotions.

Post edited at 1:36 am on Nov. 24, 2009 by Anonymous

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Seriously how would you take it if she didn't want to root you and wanted to root someone else?

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A lot of couples do it.

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Mia est la plus sexy fille du monde.

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If a guy I'd been with for 5 years said that to me, I'd slap him the fuck down.

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This, if I were into men.

Post edited at 1:40 am on Nov. 24, 2009 by mikeyb

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Rule 16
I'm so sick of atheists trying to convert me to science.

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Quote: from jsia at 1:30 am on Nov. 24, 2009

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If a guy I'd been with for 5 years said that to me, I'd slap him the fuck down.  

Seriously how would you take it if she didn't want to root you and wanted to root someone else?

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I've thought about that of course, putting myself in her situation. I'd be really hurt, but if It's something that she really wanted to do, I would go for it. Not fulfilling her desires could drive her even worse is what I figure.

As long as it's just a sexual fantasy, and there's no strings attached to that. To me, it would be just sex, no deep emotions.

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Ask her. If she loved you enough, she'd be able to separate sex with love. If she's too shallow to at least mentally separate sex with love, like the girl above, she'll end up slapping you on the face just for asking.

I really doubt your love is that shallow. She should be cool with it.
Although some people just can't fathem sex without emotion. You have to keep that in mind and explain to her that this might be outside her realm of understanding.

Post edited at 1:45 am on Nov. 24, 2009 by StraitjacketJunky

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Stupidity's like cancer. Everybody's catching it.

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Quote: from Anonymous at 1:32 am on Nov. 24, 2009

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Quote: from jsia at 1:30 am on Nov. 24, 2009

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If a guy I'd been with for 5 years said that to me, I'd slap him the fuck down.  

 Seriously how would you take it if she didn't want to root you and wanted to root someone else?

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 I've thought about that of course, putting myself in her situation. I'd be really hurt, but if It's something that she really wanted to do, I would go for it. Not fulfilling her desires could drive her even worse is what I figure.  

 As long as it's just a sexual fantasy, and there's no strings attached to that. To me, it would be just sex, no deep emotions.  

 

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Ask her. If she loved you enough, she'd be able to separate sex with love. If she's too shallow to at least mentally separate sex with love, like the girl above, she'll end up slapping you on the face just for asking.  

I really doubt your love is that shallow. She should be cool with it.  
Although some people just can't fathem sex without emotion. You have to keep that in mind and explain to her that this might be outside her realm of understanding.

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Aye, thanks

I will talk to her and hope that she is understanding to ATLEAST hear me out

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Quote: from StraitjacketJunky at 1:41 am on Nov. 24, 2009

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Quote: from Anonymous at 1:32 am on Nov. 24, 2009

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Quote: from jsia at 1:30 am on Nov. 24, 2009

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If a guy I'd been with for 5 years said that to me, I'd slap him the fuck down.  

  Seriously how would you take it if she didn't want to root you and wanted to root someone else?

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  I've thought about that of course, putting myself in her situation. I'd be really hurt, but if It's something that she really wanted to do, I would go for it. Not fulfilling her desires could drive her even worse is what I figure.

  As long as it's just a sexual fantasy, and there's no strings attached to that. To me, it would be just sex, no deep emotions.

 

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 Ask her. If she loved you enough, she'd be able to separate sex with love. If she's too shallow to at least mentally separate sex with love, like the girl above, she'll end up slapping you on the face just for asking.

 I really doubt your love is that shallow. She should be cool with it.
 Although some people just can't fathem sex without emotion. You have to keep that in mind and explain to her that this might be outside her realm of understanding.

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Aye, thanks

I will talk to her and hope that she is understanding to ATLEAST hear me out

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I edited my last post. You already replied to it, though, so I'll just reply with a new one.

"Honestly, do you think your girlfriend would let something like ASKING for sex break up 5 years? Or did she not even care about those 5 years?

Think of it like this. If you can't ask her, you've basically decided to believe that your girlfriend would let sex come between you. If you can't trust her with that then maybe your relationship hasn't been all that special.

On the other hand, as I said before, she might not be able to understand emotionless sex. She doesn't have to, but she needs to accept it's existence as reality if you guys want to be able to stick together. "

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Stupidity's like cancer. Everybody's catching it.

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It's called 'taking a break.'

A lot of couples do it.

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"We were on a break!"

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Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat.

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Ask her. If she loved you enough, she'd be able to separate sex with love. If she's too shallow to at least mentally separate sex with love, like the girl above, she'll end up slapping you on the face just for asking.  

I really doubt your love is that shallow. She should be cool with it.  
Although some people just can't fathem sex without emotion. You have to keep that in mind and explain to her that this might be outside her realm of understanding.

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I would be wary with this.  Sex and love are synonomous for some people, that's how they define sex... it only exists with love.  She is not shallow for feeling this way.

Personally, I love my boyfriend, but we've spoken about it before, and neither of us feel comfortable with the idea of the other being with someone else.  We've discussed that maybe as we grow older (maybe into marriage and the like) we might be more comfortable with the idea of trying a threesome, but for now, that's not something either of us agrees with.

OP: Your feelings aren't unusual, especially if you've only been with this female in your life.  It's part of the problems with finding a single partner young... certain people want to experience something new, especially if they didn't get a chance to do it before.  Certain married couples are even in open relationship where they can have sex with other individuals.

I would be very careful with how you bring this up.  Have you ever considered the thought of a threesome?  Would that be something that might help your fantasy?  This is also something to suggest.

Also, I want you to think carefully about whether or not you would be comfortable with your girlfriend doing the same.  Very carefully.  You may easily think, "of course I won't mind", but I want you to think very carefully of any other man touching your girlfriend in a similar way you have done.  Because if you want to do this, then you need to be open to the same.  I also want you to keep in mind the possibility of your girlfriend getting pregnant from another guy and you getting another girl pregnant.  Protection is not foolproof.

You have been together for a long time, so when you bring it up, make sure to avoid any implications that might make her feel like you're changing your mind on the relationship.  And hopefully she'll take it well.  She may be the type that can't accept this... if that's the case, will you be able to for go this fantasy for the rest of your life?  And... what happens if you try it once, but once isn't enough?  What if you want to try even more people than this...?  That's fine too, but to what extent can she accept that.

Be very careful about this.  This one question runs the potential of having your girlfriend lose a lot of her self-confidence for a long time... she may always worry she's not good enough after a single question that you meant nothing by.  You know her MUCH better than I do after 5 years, so you can be the judge of that.  But keep it in mind... there's nothing shallow about it.  Sex is something personal to me, and I could never have sex with someone I wasn't in a relationship with, and I can't be with somone that would do otherwise.  At least not yet, and I've been together for three years with my boyfriend.  I don't see it changing any time soon, maybe in another 5 - 10 years... but for now, I know it would hurt me, even if I thought it shouldn't.

But you say that you're really close. You should be able to extrapolate and guess how she'd feel about it. And decide whether the impact will be worth it and whether you'll get through it well or not. And if you don't have sex with other people, only you'd know how it'd affect you and your relationship, it's not spotless. We can't really tell you.

As for me.. I don't know, it'd depend on the partner. I'm sometimes really open and not attached to sex, but I can be awfully possessive too. It all depends on the dynamic and it'd probably differ between what the guy is like, how he connects with hookups, and how he connects with me. It's not even about trust or love or jealousy. It's just how the dynamic between people affects me and it'd be beyond broad words like "trust" or "strong relationship".

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i spy on you too

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I edited my last post. You already replied to it, though, so I'll just reply with a new one.  

"Honestly, do you think your girlfriend would let something like ASKING for sex break up 5 years? Or did she not even care about those 5 years?  

Think of it like this. If you can't ask her, you've basically decided to believe that your girlfriend would let sex come between you. If you can't trust her with that then maybe your relationship hasn't been all that special.  

On the other hand, as I said before, she might not be able to understand emotionless sex. She doesn't have to, but she needs to accept it's existence as reality if you guys want to be able to stick together. "

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I understand your reasoning, but you seem to have one assumption.  That people can use logic to control their emotions.

If people could, then there would be no decisions, there would be less jealousy, there would be no crying...

To call the girl shallow if she can't separate rationality from emotional?  Especially when we're raised in a society that primarly shows that having a single sex partner is more "rational"/"acceptable"?

She may not get angry and slap the OP... but that doesn't mean she won't be hurt by it.  She may even want to try to be accepting like you claim, but it could destroy her on the inside.

So while you say that it's important for her to understand to keep the relationship going, it's important for the OP to realize that this question could stop the relationship as well... because you fail to mention the flip side.  Having him only be with her may be something that's necessary for HER relationship to keep going.

If that conflict comes into play, then what?