I've been in a long distance relationship for 7 months, and it's been going really well. We put in lots of effort to make sure we talk often and I honestly feel closer to him than I have with anyone else in my entire life. I'm not naive, I know I'm young (almost 20), but I know that this is the most real relationship I've ever been in. I can open up to him like I've never opened up before, and I know that he cares about me and that we're a great fit for each other. I always say the key to making a long distance relationship work is being able to see an end to the distance. If it's impossible to ever be together, then there isn't a whole lot of hope. Well, the end to our distance happens to be this week. He's flying out to stay with me, and he'll be here in the next few days.

I've always been really self conscious, as most girls are, but I guess I should say I have a harder time getting over it than most people do. In other relationships I've had, by the time I'm emotionally attached to the person I was dating- he'd already seen all of my bad side. Bad hair days, me getting fatter, how ugly I am when I cry, etc. But this time, I'm already emotionally invested in this relationship and he HASN'T been able to see all that, and I guess I'm just worried that he wont want to be with me after this "visit".
I truly don't think he is that kind of guy, he isn't. He's sweet and caring, and tells me that I'm beautiful often enough for me to know he believes that. I guess I just can't stop hating myself long enough to just let him love me and let that be the end of it.

This all being said, I'm REALLY excited about him being here, I've been waiting for this for months and I couldn't be happier. I'm just looking for advice on how to stop worrying myself sick.

Oh- I want to add that I have most definitely talked to him about this, but I know it hurts him to know that I'm scared of him leaving me because in his mind I'm all he's ever wanted and that isn't going to change. I've decided not to bring it up anymore because by the time he's here, I'll be able to tell how it's going to go. I'm prepared for either outcome, I just want some advice on how to either put it out of my mind until he's here, or how to deal with it all together.

Thanks for reading, I don't think this is a big enough issue for an eHelp, but I'd like SL input so I may end up putting it in there later if I need to.

I always say the key to making a long distance relationship work is being able to see an end to the distance. You're absolutely correct when you say this. The key to having a successful, happy relationship at the end of the day is not only being able to see the distance factor come to a close, but allowing yourself to be free and open with one another. To trust one another, and love each other just the same. From the sounds of it, you both have that tied up tight and are keeping the essential values of a relationship to heart. The fact that you're finally going to see an end to it all, the fact that he's finally going to make his way out there in a few days is an amazing opportunity for you. A test of true love, true honesty, and everything else in the world which may come with it. The fact that he's coming there shows just how serious he is to be with you. There's no lie that he likes you if he's making that big of a step. The only thing left to do is hope for the best, because in the end this whole thing was inevitable one way or another.

That said, this is going to happen whether you're fully ready for it to happen or not. This is going to happen whether you sit there and tear yourself emotionally apart or not. In the end, he's going to still be there in your life. No matter how you decide to prepare for it, no matter how much you think about this whole situation, he's still going to be walking in front of you in a few days. So, instead of sitting here and being self-conscious like every other girl, why don't you spend the time being excited? Happy? Any other emotion that's not going to make you double think everything that's to come. Honestly, if he can see you through your good times, then he deserves to see you through all your bad times. What exactly makes you think that he's going to ditch you when he sees you in a not so perfect setting? Truly there are going to be a ton of these in life, in this relationship, and every aspect of our lives. Not everyone is perfect, and we all have colors that aren't shown all the time. This by all means doesn't mean people are going to flee once they see our bad hair days, us crying, putting on extra weight, etc. Instead, they're going to comfort us and assure us that everything is going to be alright. It's understandable to be nervous about everything, but at the end of the day you need to try to put this behind you and realize that he loves you regardless what you might feel from time to time.

As for worrying yourself sick, the easiest thing to do would be to make yourself so busy to the point where you don't exactly have time to worry about him coming. For instance, clean the house... twice a day. Read a million books between now and when he arrives, work over time if your employer can let you. Do something in the community, go shopping, start a band :P. what I'm getting at is this: Do anything which allows you to just ditch every thought that might be negative. The world is full of new innovations daily, so why not take advantage of them. All in all, do you really feel that this is going to be worth making yourself sick at the end of it? This "visit" might be the best thing that ever happens to you both, and afterwards you'll be kicking yourself inside for worrying constantly about everything.

Trust yourself and trust him to the point that you realize that everything will be alright. Know that you're both going to do everything within your power to make this the best moment of your lives. Would he really come all that way just to be like "Oh, this is going to be stupid." No. Chances are he's sitting there thinking "I love her so much, but what happens when she sees my bad side." I really doubt that the thoughts going through your mind aren't going through his as well. Just try to keep that in mind I guess. You're both going to be there, you're both going to be unsure of everything, and you're both going to double think this at least once by the time he arrives. Why? You're both scared. Why be scared of how the other might act, when everything is pointing towards success in the end. When everything up and to this point has been nothing but sincerity and love?

So I've probably rambled way too much. Sorry. :( I wish you all the luck, and just hope that you're able to see that you both have the chances to make this amazing, but over-thinking can make everything tense and awkward. Be yourself, and nothing but yourself. He loves you, and that entails every aspect about you and your life. <3

~Wayne

But you're right, no amount of worrying will make it happen later, it's happening and it has to happen for his sanity and my own. You and him are both right, everything is going to be okay no matter what :)

Thank you

<3 You're welcome.

It just doesn't work :P

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But if you've got the right tunes, then by all means you'd be able to make a band. I suggest practicing through guitar hero first. :D

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