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( merryberrycherry )
Connoisseur
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I'm not one to talk obviously but my friend is getting thinner and looking so tired and ill all the time, everyone is gossiping about her saying she isn't eating and whenever I talk to her the topic is always related to food, weight, celebrity bodies or exersise. I know it's a vague description of her symptoms but I do know what I am talking about and I know the signs so I'm pretty sure she's not eating (this has been going on for about 1-2months) and she was a size 8 UK in the summer, now she is more like a size 4. My dilemma is, I believe it is now at the point where I can't just sit back and hope she works it all out. I've thought about it long and hard and I think she needs to know my struggles with eating disorders etc, hopefully she will use it wisely and I'm going to choose my phrases carefully trying not to influence her. It's just so hard trying to help someone in that situation when I'm in the exact same place, just a fair few lbs heavier..it still is hypocritical in any case so I'm not sure how to deal with this. No one else is getting through to her because they don't understand but I'm hoping in relating to her problems etc she might not throw it back in my face? What do I do!! I mean do I tell her every single detail, tell her that I USED to do all of that stuff, tell her about breaking friends with all of my best friends because of it, tell her I've messed my body up so much that I'm in the hospital every month. Will any of this even help her?!
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[[Flowers In The Window]]
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 LiveWire Humor
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RIMHfire
Swami
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It could just be just a stressful time for her. Usually people either over-eat or under-eat when they have stressful times in their lives.
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6:26 pm on Dec. 5, 2009 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 353
Join to learn more about RIMHfire Massachusetts, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 22,178 | Points: 26,456
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anc8469
Omnipotent One
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Tell her that! I had to do the exact same thing with one of my friends. I had to tell her everything! About how I got dehydrated, constantly had headaches, pale, weak, hair was falling out, all the time cold, and I had a seizure too because of it. Have a long talk with her, because if you don't want her to go down the same path with an ED then you need to tell her every little detail about what it could get her into. If she still doesn't stop, then that is when you should tell a parents, teacher, doctor etc.
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As far as I'm concerned...you're just another picture to burn!
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6:33 pm on Dec. 5, 2009 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 678
Join to learn more about anc8469 Alabama, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 12,080 | Points: 19,511
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newmie66
Swami
Support Leader
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Honestly, the best thing that you could do is repeat to her exactly what you said to us. That's exactly what some people need to get motivated. Trust me, at least trying is a lot better than sitting back and doing nothing and then wishing that you had later.
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http://www.formspring.me/newmie66
You really should do it :)
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8:38 pm on Dec. 5, 2009 | Joined: Feb. 2006 | Days Active: 722
Join to learn more about newmie66 Maryland, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 16,022 | Points: 26,886
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Anthem
It's the E-talking
Patron
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Just because you are struggling with the same problems as she is, it doesn't mean that you are somehow aren't allowed to talk to her about it. On the other hand, your advice will be a lot more valuble to her than everyone elses. You know what she is going through better than anyone else. I am sure she will realize this. When dealing with eating disorders, people who don't know what its like, have a tendency to come up with all sorts of advice, but atleast to me its empty advice because they dont know what you are going through. You know what she is going through because you are going through the same, and you are her FRIEND. There is no one more qualified to talk to her about it than you are, its not hypocritical at all. Tell her everything you said, tell her what it did/is doing to you. Tell her to seek help. YES you should tell her every single detail so she knows exactly where you are coming from You probably know all too well how annoying it is when people lecture you about it, so be careful not to do that. Be supportive, but don't be a lifted finger. Hopefully this will not only help her, but also you - You guys are in an excellent position to support eachothers recovery. You can help her and she can help you. However, as someone else said: If it doesn't help, you really have to tell someone, be it a teacher or a parent. I really don't think you have anything to lose by talking to her. If everything turns out well, you and your friend can use eachother as support.
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LWgossip = Hymen Terminator = Bearsy!!! --- same person!
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