My eyes are too small, my nose is too big, I have acne scars that make me horribly self-conscious, I hate my hair, I hate everything about my body. I have a high IQ, but I often feel stupid in comparison to other people, especially because I'm in the Fine Arts field. I feel like I belong in science or engineering because my brain thinks better that way. I love numbers and thinking and problem solving and symbolism and acting and stuff like that is something that I find really hard.

I struggle with my weight. Sometimes I feel okay about it, but then I see a picture of myself and see how I really look.

I don't feel attractive. I don't feel like guys like me. I feel like lots of people don't like me.

Whenever people talk about marriage, I always pretend like I don't care, even though I do. I do want to get married and have a family, but I never say that, because I'm so afraid that people are thinking "Who would marry her?"

People have told me that I'm beautiful and that I'm one of the prettiest people that they know, but I just don't buy it.

I make cookies to make people like me. Seriously. I love to bake and cook anyway, but I always bring things like cupcakes and cookies and brownies to school because I want people to like me.

Isn't this pathetic?

God, I need some self-esteem. I just don't know how to not beat myself up.

Should I go to a psychiatrist or something?  

Either way, self-esteem is something very hard to develop.  Even if people around you compliment you, you can never take it seriously because of your self esteem.

The thing that I've come to realize is that some people will never like you for whatever reason.  But then there will be those that will.  You can't please everyone in the world, regardless of who you are, but there will be those that will like you just the way you are.

Do you exercise regularly?  Odd question, but I find that exercising really helps me feel better about myself.  It's not because I even notice a difference, but I feel it boosts my energy and self esteem.

Anyway, if this is something that affects the way you live (ie how you feel compelled to bake things for people just because of this), then you could consider talking to a counsellor or something similar.  They may be able to offer you some options as to what you could do to help the issue?

Either way, it takes time to come to accept oneself.  Instead of looking at your flaws, why don't you concentrate a bit more on your strengths?  Emphasize those... we all pay so much attention to things we do wrong or the things that look wrong... that we never get a chance to appreciate the things we do right or the things that look right.  It helps, sometimes, to realize that while you may not think you're all that great in a certain area, you have the benefits of being well developed in some other area.

Who knows... I'd like more self-esteem myself, and it gets a bit better as I get older.  But I doubt I'll ever be cured of having low self-esteem :(.

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Why did you choose the fine arts field if you prefer numbers? I mean, if you prefer fine arts, that's cool... but you said you have a love for numbers. Have you ever considered getting like a minor if that's an option for you? That way you can continue with fine arts and have something number related on the side? Might help you in that area of your life.

Either way, self-esteem is something very hard to develop. Even if people around you compliment you, you can never take it seriously because of your self esteem.

The thing that I've come to realize is that some people will never like you for whatever reason. But then there will be those that will. You can't please everyone in the world, regardless of who you are, but there will be those that will like you just the way you are.

Do you exercise regularly? Odd question, but I find that exercising really helps me feel better about myself. It's not because I even notice a difference, but I feel it boosts my energy and self esteem.

Anyway, if this is something that affects the way you live (ie how you feel compelled to bake things for people just because of this), then you could consider talking to a counsellor or something similar. They may be able to offer you some options as to what you could do to help the issue?

Either way, it takes time to come to accept oneself. Instead of looking at your flaws, why don't you concentrate a bit more on your strengths? Emphasize those... we all pay so much attention to things we do wrong or the things that look wrong... that we never get a chance to appreciate the things we do right or the things that look right. It helps, sometimes, to realize that while you may not think you're all that great in a certain area, you have the benefits of being well developed in some other area.

Who knows... I'd like more self-esteem myself, and it gets a bit better as I get older. But I doubt I'll ever be cured of having low self-esteem :(.

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I chose fine arts because I love both. Most people either like arts or sciences and their true strengths like in one or the other, but I love both and I have always done well in both. At the end of the day, I needed to go into theatre, because that what makes me truly happy.

I tried minoring in chemistry, but it was just too hard to schedule labs with all of my theatre stuff.

And no, I don't really exercise. I don't have time. I get up at 6:00 am every morning, get ready for school, go to school, then I don't get home until 11:00 or so usually, I do homework for two hours and then go to bed at 1:00. It's exhausting.

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Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 5:18 am on Dec. 2, 2009

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Why did you choose the fine arts field if you prefer numbers?  I mean, if you prefer fine arts, that's cool... but you said you have a love for numbers.  Have you ever considered getting like a minor if that's an option for you?  That way you can continue with fine arts and have something number related on the side?  Might help you in that area of your life.  

 Either way, self-esteem is something very hard to develop.  Even if people around you compliment you, you can never take it seriously because of your self esteem.  

 The thing that I've come to realize is that some people will never like you for whatever reason.  But then there will be those that will.  You can't please everyone in the world, regardless of who you are, but there will be those that will like you just the way you are.  

 Do you exercise regularly?  Odd question, but I find that exercising really helps me feel better about myself.  It's not because I even notice a difference, but I feel it boosts my energy and self esteem.  

 Anyway, if this is something that affects the way you live (ie how you feel compelled to bake things for people just because of this), then you could consider talking to a counsellor or something similar.  They may be able to offer you some options as to what you could do to help the issue?  

 Either way, it takes time to come to accept oneself.  Instead of looking at your flaws, why don't you concentrate a bit more on your strengths?  Emphasize those... we all pay so much attention to things we do wrong or the things that look wrong... that we never get a chance to appreciate the things we do right or the things that look right.  It helps, sometimes, to realize that while you may not think you're all that great in a certain area, you have the benefits of being well developed in some other area.  

 Who knows... I'd like more self-esteem myself, and it gets a bit better as I get older.  But I doubt I'll ever be cured of having low self-esteem :(.

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I chose fine arts because I love both. Most people either like arts or sciences and their true strengths like in one or the other, but I love both and I have always done well in both. At the end of the day, I needed to go into theatre, because that what makes me truly happy.  

I tried minoring in chemistry, but it was just too hard to schedule labs with all of my theatre stuff.  

And no, I don't really exercise. I don't have time. I get up at 6:00 am every morning, get ready for school, go to school, then I don't get home until 11:00 or so usually, I do homework for two hours and then go to bed at 1:00. It's exhausting.

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You have no time between classes or anything?  I find it hard to believe that you're continuously doing something.

It's hard to fit things in, I have a fairly heavy schedule as well, and I know how exhausting it gets.  But you don't have weekends either?  I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but the fact that you suggest you have no time to spare at all only makes me think that this also contributes to your self-esteem.

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/get_your_zzzs

Lol, just one site that seems to agree with me... it says... "Getting good sleep makes you feel better about yourself. Sleep deprivation can lower your self esteem."

I mean, not everyone will fall into that category, but it's a possibility for you as well.  I also don't get good rest.  similar to you, I leave the house by 5:55am each morning, and the one day I come home early, I have to go to work afterwards.  This week, I think I'm averaging about 3-5 hours per night...

Anyway, it's a thought.  Sleeping more, giving yourself time to relax and have a break, exercising... it can all help.  What's the use in pushing yourself so hard if you're miserable the whole time?  I'm one to talk, because I'm much the same, but I have forced exercise in my schedule.  I bike 4 miles a day and walk at least two because I have to get to school.  Saturday's I have to walk to work...  Something as simple as walking even feels nice... especially since it helps clear the mind.  But the forced exercise in its own sense has been a blessing to me... I think it's one of the things that helps me get through the year.

It's a thought... I mean, you can always just take courses on the side for fun if you can put it in your schedule.  Seems like you're busy enough though, so you may not even want to do it.  It's up to you... I'm glad you went with theater though, if that's what makes you happy :).  Some people feel obligated to do otherwise and end up miserable because of it.