My girlfriend and I have been going out for five months now. We are very happy together, the only real conflict in our relationship stemming from our physical relationship. She doesn't want to go under the pants, for either of us, for a while. She has been saying so for a long time. I'm okay with this. But on her birthday she allowed me to go under for her, and hinted towards doing the same for me on mine a month later. My birthday comes up last friday, and me being the horny idiot I am I find myself excited about getting to experience it for the first time. it never ends up happening, but at one point in the night, during a small party, when we are all watching a movie, under some blankets i go under for her. She goes along with it. But now today she calls me, tells me that she isnt comfortable with it. I love her incredibly, and I don't want to do anything that will make her uncomfortable. And i actually felt weird after what i did, i felt bad, knowing I had gone against her convictions.

During the call i wasnt thinking straight, i dont do well on phones for some reason, and i said that i didnt care if we took out all physical aspects of the relationship. When i said it, she said "Well, if we do that, then its just a friendship". She knows how i feel about her, and i know she cares about me a great deal, but that struck a blow to me. Somehow we managed to talk it over, and I think we are ok, but I'm still torn up a bit inside. Maybe I'm just venting, in fact, if you have read this far I thank you. This site has endless masses of problem ridden youth that need someone to talk to more than me, so thank you if you decide to help and talk.

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Im not exactly the most normal guy, but then again, who is?

Patience.

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Make Love, Not War

and ive been with the girl i love for almost 6 months now too, and know what you mean about feeling weird after you go in the pants zone.  its hard to control our friskiness cause we're so attracted to them and the way we feel about them makes us want them even more

Look at a relationship as having different "sections" to it (picture it as a pie chart if necessary): you have different areas, such as "emotional", "intellectual", "spiritual", "physical", etc...

In order for the relationship to be successful, not only do you need to be on the same "level" as your partner in these areas, but you need to balance them in such a way that one does not over-take the others.  

In this case, she was tastefully telling you "hey, I really care about you, and I want to be more emotionally involved with you before I get physical."  

Take this as an opportunity to get to know her on a deeper level. She obviously cares about you deeply.

The rule of thumb I follow is that you truely don't know a person until at LEAST 6 months after you have met them- you haven't seen how they react to a variety of situations, experiances, their moods, etc...

That being said, I envy you for having such a caring woman.

If you want to discuss this further, feel free to PM me.

Best of luck to you,
- Gutz

Post edited at 7:57 pm on Sep. 7, 2008 by Gutz

Ok, we are both 17. We've known eachother for over a year now, since i moved into town.

To all of you, thanks tons. That was amazing. I truly have newfound hope for the internet when tehre are people like you out there.

You are all right, altho blackbeltgal might be kind of against the grain on the opinions, shows my GF isnt the only one who is restricted. I think in part my haste comes from the fact that my best friend and her best friend are now dating and make sweet kinky love every time they see eachother. Makes the lack of activity we have more obvious.

Again, thank you all.

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Im not exactly the most normal guy, but then again, who is?